it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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