i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
