Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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