you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
