I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
