Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You pole danced in your parka.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
