i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My ass is underappreciated
If I die, sorry about rent.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
