I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
3pm strippers are depressing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
