Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
