If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
