my phone needs a breathalizer
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
