69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
