like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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