I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
