So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
