There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
