The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
