Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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