I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
