great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
