i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
