I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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