I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
