I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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