dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
