I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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