I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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