I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
