It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
