first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize