He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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