This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
God, I missed his penis.
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