I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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