He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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