ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
