alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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