I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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