we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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