I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
