How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
