I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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