you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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