After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize