also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
