I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
