U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize