i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
