i jhust puked up my retainher.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
