I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
