If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
