goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
there is glitter all over my balls
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
