Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
