The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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