I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
