Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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