did you get engaged???
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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