Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
