you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
