if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
