I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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