Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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