Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
