I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My dick has a subreddit
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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