This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
