Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
