Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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