is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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