Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize