Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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