Moan for me like Helen Keller
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
