PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
