I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize