out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
