So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
