I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
