apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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