the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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