She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
