I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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